I hate you, you wheezing sacs of mucus-filled cavities

threatening my breathing

no matter how much I blow my nose

it stays stuffed up in exactly the same spot

You turn me into a whiny-baby

with a froggy voice

I hate you!

Phlegm, phlegm go away,

don’t come back any other day….

let me rest in peace

knowing my bed won’t be covered in

slimy slobber

and my chest will stop hurting

from this deep cough

that seems to excite you

whenever I try to talk or exert myself

Mucus, go away

don’t come back any other day

I hate you, you frickin’ virus!

I can’t even wish you on my worst enemy

go away, and don’t latch onto anyone else.

The germ warfare in this house is on…

just as soon as I can catch my breath.