I cannot be everything that you love about me
if I cannot fully be myself.
My courage and tenacity,
creativity and vulnerability,
and all the other parts,
cannot exist
without
the messiness, the fear,
the pain, or the doubt.
For my love has been buried beneath these,
and it does not feel safe to come out
if these are denied.
When it has felt safe,
and my messiness, fear
pain and doubt
are held with tenderness,
I found that I could
be more than I thought imaginable
do more than I was told I was capable
and love more than I knew was possible.
But,
it takes courage to love,
and courage must be nurtured.
through the pieces of me
that are reflected
in the people I love
and those to whom I am drawn.
I've spent my whole life
wanting to be seen
and accepted in my entirety,
and have come to understand
through the pieces of others
for which I hold space
that the parts of us
that need to be seen
are forged and realized
in our connections.
Others can only hold the pieces of me
which are shared between us,
and wanting or focusing
on any more than that
leads to conflict.
Today I hold these shared pieces
as sacred connections
and celebrate them for what they are
while letting go of any expectations or desire
for what is not available
to give or receive
as I navigate each connection.
©2021
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Del,
Thanks so much for this. It so beautifully reflects exactly where I am now. I’ve printed it up and hold it close at hand.
Michele Linfante in Sebastopol
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