I cannot be everything that you love about me
if I cannot fully be myself.
My courage and tenacity,
creativity and vulnerability,
and all the other parts,
cannot exist 
without 
the messiness, the fear, 
the pain, or the doubt.
For my love has been buried beneath these,
and it does not feel safe to come out
if these are denied.
When it has felt safe, 
and my messiness, fear
pain and doubt
are held with tenderness, 
I found that I could
be more than I thought imaginable
do more than I was told I was capable
and love more than I knew was possible.
But,
it takes courage to love,
and courage must be nurtured. 
through the pieces of me
that are reflected 
in the people I love 
and those to whom I am drawn.  
I've spent my whole life 
wanting to be seen 
and accepted in my entirety, 
and have come to understand 
through the pieces of others 
for which I hold space 
that the parts of us 
that need to be seen 
are forged and realized 
in our connections.  
Others can only hold the pieces of me 
which are shared between us, 
and wanting or focusing 
on any more than that 
leads to conflict.  
Today I hold these shared pieces 
as sacred connections 
and celebrate them for what they are 
while letting go of any expectations or desire 
for what is not available
to give or receive 
as I navigate each connection.
©2021